


Warm In Friendships

by Lucisassbutt



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst and Feels, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, Fluff, Gay John Laurens, Lams - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 05:03:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13756893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucisassbutt/pseuds/Lucisassbutt
Summary: It's never easy to watch your best friend be with someone else, not when you love him too much. Not when you were there first.No one said John Laurens got it easy.





	Warm In Friendships

**Author's Note:**

> I've been damn busy with my novel and I just want to unwind sooooo be prepared for Lams feels!!!  
> Kudos and comments are highly appreciated you guys.

"John? Talk to me. Jack, please!"

John Laurens makes his way through the sea of college students on the halls of Kings, and he knows that voice all too well to be mistaken but no, not today, not tomorrow. John is sick of following Alexander Hamilton. He deserve- no doesn't deserves it but he wants it, he wants more than friendship with Alex. But who is he fooling? Alex could never want him, much less now that Alex has Eliza Schuyler. John is no one next to such beauty. So no, he can't handle this now.

John sprints to the heavy doors and into the campus grounds. It was quiet outside. Beautiful, New York weather. He inhaled the cool air and sighted. He knew he would still have go back to his best friend and maybe lie onto why he suddenly walked out when he saw Alex and Eliza on the lockers, hands locked, faces inches apart. John doesn't know why he reacted that badly in the first place. He knew Alex is a flirt. It was like a default on his friend's personality. Maybe he was just sick on seeing Alex with someone else? Or maybe he was tired of hoping that Alex would see him someday as someone who is worth while? 

Alexander has no clue what just happened, but one thing he was sure is that he had never saw John Laurens that...resigned. And it hurt to look at  _his_ John in that state, because John was the kind to never back down, even if it all seemed impossible, even if it would take forever to do. Alex could trust John to make anything impossible to possible. 

Damn John Laurens' long legs and his equally long strides for Alex couldn't keep up with him. It wasn't the first time Alex wishes to be taller. He was losing John in the sea of stude-and wasn't that a frightening note... Alex wouldn't know what to do if he ever lose John. He had already lost everyone he loves, he can't bear to lose John. Not when he had yet summoned up the courage to confess how much he loves him. 

"Jack? Jack!" It must be really serious for John to be under "the" tree. There are three things Alexander had the honor to know what John does when he is troubled, one he goes under that tree, Alex doesn't exactly know why John likes to go under that certain tree when it was all and the same to others that had been planted on their campus' grounds. Two he would be in a fist fight, and Alex would be there every single time to tend on John's cuts and bruises; John claims he can express more with his fists rather than his words unlike Alex does. And three he would be sucking on a sour apple lollipop, when Alex first saw John sucking on a lolly bent on studying for their finals he didn't know what to do; he stood there frozen for a couple of minutes or so; John had introduced Alex to the possibility of something or rather  _someone_ to look so innocent and yet so indecent at the same time. And if John is truly overwhelmed then he would do all those stuffs and usually it would be in order. It's cute and horrifying and it's so John Laurens. But Alex can't be romanticizing now, he needs to know first if John is okay, and so he asks when he got near enough to be heard. "Jack are you alrigh-"

"Go away, Alex." And damn if that didn't hurt.

"Jac--"

"I said go away.."

Alex tried to joke because he knows John likes his nonsense, "but I don't want our friendship t-"

"You can't have what you don't have!"

 _What?_ "Are we not friends Ja-"

"What if I don't want to be your friend?" 

And it felt like a bucket of ice cold water had been dumped on Alex, he was suddenly shivering or shacking and there might have been tears welling up but he can't be for sure because what?And _he was back in the Caribbean. He was holding his mother. He was wet and he can hear screams and shouts of agony and help._   _It was quiet and it hurts, the silence hurts. It shouldn't be like this. It-_ John. He could see John again. He could hear John again. 

John saw Alex flinch and suddenly he looked lost and so young, and blasts John almost felt guilty for saying it, but he needs to get it across. "What if it hurts me to be your friend Alexander?"

"Jack, please, what are you talking about?" 

"Oh damn you Alexander! What if I don't want to be just friends with you? That is what!" If this wasn't serious John would laugh when all color had drained from Alex. But it only caused more pain. It was evidently clear that Alex doesn't feel the same way. So, he walks away. And if it hurts that Alex had let him, no one needs to know. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for all the grammar and spelling mistakes, I did this with only one take. This is basically me mind dumping. Again kudos and comments are highly appreciated!


End file.
